How can an insecure person have the confidence to help someone?
I’m glad you asked.
I’m 100% sure that what you read, if applied, will change your life. I know it changed mine. But brace yourselves, it could hurt.
I believe you’ve had a blind spot.
Your thoughts – unintentionally, I’m sure – have been consumed with self. This doesn’t make you an unkind person. But, get this. It’s not whether you think too highly or too lowly of yourself, it’s that you think of yourself too often. This self-focus causes doubts, insecurities, and is debilitating.
It’s time to get over you. If Christ is in you, you’ve got this incredible untapped journey awaiting you. He wants to speak to you and use you to bless others, to lighten their load, and to meet needs.
What needs to change is your focus.
Here’s an example:
Let’s say there’s a friend you know who is overwhelmed with life right now. Perhaps you don’t even know her very well. But, one thing’s for certain, she is on your mind. You feel like you should do something…but,
Doubts and insecurities reign in your heart and mind, leaving you paralyzed:
- I‘m scared. She doesn’t know me. What if she doesn’t like me?
- I‘m not a good enough cook. What if her family doesn’t like my cooking?
- I‘d like to have help with taking a meal or getting a crew together to help straighten up her house, but I‘m not in their circle. I don’t have confidence to ask for help. Why don’t they ask me?
- Will I be in the way? Will I be embarrassed?
- I‘m not sure what to say. I‘m not good enough. I don’t know what to wear.
Nine steps to remedy your insecure thinking and free you up to serve:
- Focus on others, not self. Each one of the scenarios above has the same self-focus. Me, I, my. Learn to recognize and immediately replace this wrong-thinking with a focus on God and the recipient. Insecurities and doubts happen when our focus is self.
- Trust God. If He put an exact person on your mind, learn to say, “Okay, Lord,” followed by…
- Ask God for His creativity. I ask Him to supernaturally reveal a hurt, need, or desire and a specific creative idea to meet that need.
- Mentor your kids. You can raise confident kids who don’t struggle like you are right now. Gather them together and include them in the process of serving others. In so doing, you’re teaching them to have a “generous eye.” < read that post.
- Pray together. “Kids, let’s pray for Sue and ask the Lord for specific, creative ways we can be a blessing, lighten her load, or meet a need.” Many times we’ve prayed separately and come back to share our ideas. Provide opportunities for the kids to hear the Lord.
- Obey. Just do it. Make the food. Write a note. Gather the cleaning supplies. Mow your elderly neighbor’s yard. Whatever idea you have, do it.
- Train ahead. Prior to serving, properly equip the kids with the skills needed to complete the task well. Discuss the upcoming situation and ways to help. When kids fully grasp the goal of serving in the situation, they will have confidence and initiative. Teach them to do this confidentially, not telling their friends, no need for praise or attention on self. “Let another man praise you and not your own self.”
- Pray on the way. Ask God to prepare the hearts for the delivery. Whether it’s an anonymous package delivered or unexpectedly showing up with kids and cleaning supplies, “Hi! Go get ready. I’m treating you to lunch (or pedicure) and the kids are going to watch your kids and tidy up however is helpful.” Or maybe it’s paying online for a surprise pizza delivery with a special note “You are loved and being prayed for.” Whatever the idea is, TRUST and OBEY… and leave the results to God.
- Rejoice. You were just used as an instrument by God Himself to touch someone’s life. That is your reward… a beautiful, deepening walk with Him where you overcome self-focus, learn to trust Him, and experience the joy and freedom in a life used for others.
“Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share.” I Timothy 6:18
Who’s on your heart today?
Rhonda putoffselfputonothers ellis
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