I’ve given you quite a bit to pray about and consider as you set out to make your goals for your family this school year. Really, this information is good all year ’round and applies to setting priorities for your family.  So, if you’re thinking “We’re already way into the school year” or “I don’t even have school-aged kids” this mini-series is still timely and for you.

Remember, your goals and family priorities continue to need adjustments as life happens and as the Holy Spirit leads. Don’t get too set in your ways.

Today, I wrap up the series by sharing some advantages to prioritizing your life by having a game plan for the investment of your time.

I said “YES” to this spontaneous boat ride to an island about an hour away. Thinking through priorities for this year made this an easy YES…putting aside getting homeschooling set up for the year and in its place being a Fun Mom, taking delight in what my oldest son loves while making fun family memories.

I said “YES” to this spontaneous boat ride to an island about an hour away. Thinking through priorities for this year made this an easy YES…putting aside getting homeschooling set up for the year and in its place being a Fun Mom, taking delight in what my oldest son loves while making fun family memories.

And, not rushing. Relaxing. Saying “Yes” to “Can we…?” One problem though. Where am I in these photos? How will they remember I got the Fun Mom Alert? (nominated by myself, of course)

And, not rushing. Relaxing. Saying “Yes” to “Can we…?” One problem though. Where am I in these photos? How will they remember I got the Fun Mom Alert? (nominated by myself, of course)

Here are just some of the advantages of knowing and living by your family’s priorities for this year:

1. Provides for a more calm tone in our homes

  • It’s just true. When the whole family’s on board and understands the foundational priorities in your home, it makes for a more unified team, people thinking about others in the home, and outside of the home.
  • Less selfish people. More focused and disciplined family members.
  • Plus, imagine if one of YOUR goals is to mentor your kids rather than shout at them. Your daily choices will reflect this by having a calm tone in how you communicate with your family members. And, since you will have identified ways in which siblings hurt each other, you’ll be more cognizant when this occurs and on top of bringing the behavior to a halt.

2. Allows us to discover and foster our child’s individual interests

  • Enabling us to fine tune activities to grow them in their unique bends (sports, music, art, building, designing, cooking, mechanical…)
  • Seeing an interest in building, legos, planning – may arrange opportunities for job shadowing a contractor or architect
  • Give us the insight to end something that is a priority to us and more clearly see a better direction for the child: an interest in music may mean dropping out of karate and taking guitar lessons, ending piano and allowing drums (yikes!), stopping ballet and enrolling in basketball…
  • Seeing a unique passion: love of playing with young children, may mean signing up for a babysitting course, or arranging to help a school teacher to gain experience in this industry, or having them assist in coaching a sports team
  • An interest in missions, may mean opening your home to missionaries to provide opportunities to influence your child

3. Allows us to be productive and use our time wisely

  • Titus 3:14 “Our people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good, in order to provide for urgent needs and not live unproductive lives.”
  • When we know our priorities we can better utilize our time.  This can bring to an end some wasteful habits: Play video game or read a good book with the kids? Sit together during the evenings and solely watch TV or schedule family devotions, game night, or activities that foster communication, or even being intentional to invite families over for dinner.
  • Setting goals of communication in the home may give you a creative idea like – all cell phones put over there at X time so that actual verbal communication begins to happen again. (just sayin’)
  • When going through drive-through, realize it’s the neighbors’ favorite food, pick them up some too.
  • When your day is off track, just go back to things you know are most important to a “successful” day. Do it. Just do the next thing.  (For example, even if your day is way off, and a priority for you is reading the Word together, just do the next thing…and redeem the day by reading a few verses together and praying before bed.)

4. Builds family relationships

  • Intentionally thinking about how to invest in the lives of those closest to you, can’t help but build family relationships
  • You can be more in charge of your daily schedule and monthly calendar and build into it the priorities first.
    • Date nights with your spouse, family game night, sibling fun time, dad/child date, etc
    • Put these things on the calendar first – once the various schedules are placed on the calendars (ball games, responsibilities, vacations, etc)

5. Builds friendships.

  • Feeling lonely? Be intentional. Take the lead. Call and schedule some friendship date time.
  • “To have many friends, you must show yourself friendly.”  Proverbs 18:24
  • Who do you want to learn from, admire, want to get to know better? Ask. Offer to treat them to coffee. Keep it short. Let that friendship grow as it may. Express thanks.
    • I know so many women (and men) are terrified to ask others to join them for a friend date. Here’s a few quick tips:
      • Don’t take a “no” personally. Truly, the person might have a full schedule, not be able to handle as much as you can, or it might just be the wrong timing.
      • Try again…or move on and ask someone else.
      • I have some good friends who have told me no soooo many times. (I’m still fuming. Their names are … Not really. But, I truly did have to get over this.)
      • Maybe ask a few ladies to come over at the same time, thus making some feel a little more at ease. “Sharon… Kim, Mary, and I would love to treat you to lunch at Panera and ask you about homeschooling. Do you have any days in the next few weeks that would fit your schedule?”
      • If you do meet up, keep it short. Let the friendship grow as it may. Express thanks.
      • Develop deep friendships. There’s nothing like it.
  • Be intentional about who your kids invite over. Consider having a day for each of your kids where they get to invite their friends over for no particular celebration except you want to be part of their life and their friends’ lives. (This is an excellent time to observe. More on that later.)

6. Makes ministry a priority rather than waiting on a convenient time

  • Face it. Many of us wait until we have time. Life fills up. There IS no extra time. But, there really is…once ministry to others becomes a priority and a new way of thinking.
  • When your family has decided that it is important to be about others, you’ll begin to see needs all around you.
  • You’ll discover ways to meet needs while your life goes on. Delivering a meal on the way to the ball game. Not enough time to cook it? You’ll stop by Kentucky Fried Chicken and pick up a meal. You’ll call Pizza Hut, pay over the phone, and have them deliver to the family who just had a meal- even though you’re out of town on vacation.
  • You’ll finally have a break-through and let go of having to have a perfectly clean home before you invite others in your home or before you allow some kids to stay for the weekend to give their parents much needed relief.
  • You’ll discover the amazing walk with Christ where He gives creative ideas for investing in others. Trust. Obey.

7. Enables you to be in charge of your schedule

  • Rather than your schedule controlling you. Rather than being swung by the urgent all day long. You will be able to say yes and no in ways that align with YOUR priorities.
  • You’ll be able to more easily and without guilt say NO to things– even great things- because you’ll know at “this particular time” that doesn’t fit our family’s goals.
    • This could be playing soccer, joining a gym, serving on the PTA, advancing to the next level in your home business, or taking an incredible vacation…all great things, but due to your specific family’s plan this year, this might not be the best fit or timing.
    • This could be daily choices like “Do we watch TV or do what we said our goal is – communication and laughter in our home and decide to play a board game instead?.  Do we let the kids sleep in to the last minute or get them up earlier to teach them/have them do their personal quiet time with the Lord before school?
  • You’ll be able to more easily and without guilt say YES to things – even things that disrupt your schedule, because it fits what you’re wanting to accomplish and make be a priority this year. This could be randomly taking a boat ride with your family even though you need to get some work done, or serving as a homeroom monitor in your child’s class because your goal is to know your kid’s friends better or you’re wanting to observe how she interacts with others to stop their bullying (or see how your child treats others) or help her with academic skills. You say “Yes” to spending money on a nice restaurant because all of a sudden Date Night is a priority. (Yeehaw!)
  • Some day I’ll write a blog on this, but suffice it for now to say: If you’re having trouble saying “no” to things try this simple approach.
    • “No, I’m not able to do that right now.” Period. No excuses added. Then in your own mind, know that your reasoning is simply a silent follow-up to that sentence “…because it doesn’t fit my family’s priorities right now.” Do not say that part, but KNOW that part. This is YOU being in charge of the schedule so that it aligns as best as it can with accomplishing this year’s goals for your family.
    • And accept a “no” from other people because their priorities will be different than your family’s. Don’t take it personally. (You’ll love the new freedom you’ll enjoy from this approach, if this has been a struggle for you.)

8. Enables your family’s priorities to be custom fit for your unique family.

  • Each family is made up of individuals that have been uniquely created and we have access to The Creator to gain supernatural insight into pouring into them. Think through:
    • spiritual goals, character goals, chores, home ec skills, real life skills, extra curricular interests, books to read as a family, date nights, the heart of each child, the talents/skills/passions of each child, the struggles of each child, the character weaknesses of each child (and self), family vacations, family travel, exercise and diet choices and goals, academic areas that need reinforcing or attention, ministry ideas, organizing things that needs to be done, home improvement to-do lists, and more!!

There you go. We’ve taken a deep look at the spiritual training in your home and the unique goal setting and prioritizing that comes with spending time alone with God to make a plan to be intentional about how your time is spent this school year.

To conclude…grab your notebook, sit still before the Lord, commune with His, asking for His priorities for your family for this school year. You’ll be glad you did.

If you missed any posts in this series, here they are for your convenience.

Has this series been helpful? Share with us.

“Listen to this, O Job; Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God.” Job 37:14

“Listen to this, O Job; Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God.” Job 37:14

Rhonda beholdthesplendorofGod’screation.mysightthismorning ellis

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1 Comment
  1. peggy hamrick

    Awesome advice…thanks!

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